Elle Voyage

2006-12-10T19:34:00.000Z

Happy December everyone! I hope you will pardon some sibling pride - my 15yo brother wrote this and I'm just so damn proud I have to post it here! Enjoy:

An IDEAL Christmas day
When I think of winter, I think of a lifeless season that everyone must endure. If it wasn’t for the most joyous of all occasions known as ‘Christmas’, then that is all it would be.
My ideal Christmas happened five years ago. I was so excited, as any 10 year old would be. I knew that all the family that I had that lived away from home, in cities far away from my little town had come to stay in my cosy house, with wonderful neighbours. This house was number 9 but it will always be ‘number 1’ in my heart. Deerleap Way was a fresh, green paradise where everyone was welcomed, where kindness was in every household but especially at Christmas.
4:30 am and not a sound in my house. Nothing was stirring, not even a mouse! I knew somehow that this was very strange. You could always hear my family sleep. They twitch, they turn, they snore, they purr. I couldn’t be the last one up, could I? I left my bed in my blue pyjamas, to investigate this puzzling event. I didn’t like the electrical lights to be on, instead I estimated my every move in the dark, hoping that I would not walk into my already senile cat. I crept downstairs, but there was no point and the staircase was creaky from years of trampling feet.
As I entered the living room I saw the reflection of an open fire with red stockings labelled with all of my family’s names. I suddenly was greeted by the welcoming voice of my two favourite siblings, hanging up the stockings and feeding the fire, with ’White Christmas’ playing softly in the background. They say something to me that I will never forget. The younger one said “You’re up this early? I can see, you’re really excited about today!” and I thought, even though they do so much for me, it took me until today to realise. I have THE most loving family, THE cosiest house, THE nicest neighbourhood, THE greatest blessing on earth. I wish everyday could be like this day!”
It was only ten o’clock, but I had seemingly been waiting for ages. Finally, one by one, the rest of my family woke up and cheerfully went into the living room. I had seen everyone come in and wish their ‘Merry Christmas’es to everyone else. Everyone, except my dad. I asked about him, but the only answer I could get was “It’s a surprise!”
After thinking it through, I worked out the most likely place for him to be, the kitchen. I ran to the kitchen door, ignoring my mother’s rule. Then, I saw my father’s masterpiece of food. On the menu was roast chicken with herbs and seasonings (traditional in France), lovely roast potatoes, assorted vegetables, mint sauce, gravy and seven hungry mouths to feed. It looked like a lot, and from past experience I knew that it was going to be a meal to remember.
However, all of that food was left for the evening. First we had breakfast. Not that the meal wasn’t spectacular, truly it was a gourmet spread, but I had my eye on something else. My stomach is no match for my need to have presents, especially since the Christmas tree was covered in twinkly, glittery bits with an angel doll on the top. It just made it irresistible. I had to get my presents. Now. After nagging my mum continuously, we all sat around the tree and took turns at opening our gifts. In the many hours of gift opening, I couldn’t help but notice very sentimental and touching moments. That is when I realised why people give each other gifts at Christmas. I had always thought that Christmas was just like a second birthday for the whole family, to receive presents at the expense of others. But then I realised that it is to show people that you care about them, it is to show that you HAVE been listening to them say what they want. The happiness and love that comes at Christmas time is just thinking about your loved ones. The gifts under the tree are simply evidence of that. Nothing more, nothing less.
It is dinner time, I can laugh and enjoy the jokes and anecdotes given by my relatives who have ‘popped round’ to see the family. I am at that impressionable age where I think anything that my cool uncles say is worth repeating. However, to this day it still hasn’t landed me in any serious trouble! The luxurious Christmas dinner cooked every year is the final big present from my dad to the whole family. The candles are lit, the mood is at an all time high, with good cheer, and the last gift goes out with a bank, the cork shoots up in the sky and we all celebrate with a glass of fine wine.
That is the miracle of Christmas, when a lesson is learned. When a young child grows up, with understandable concerns. The glimmer in the eye of a young child speaks, true love is something given, not something that is earned.
The End. Merry Christmas.

2006-11-17T17:04:00.000Z

Counting My Blessings

A single-ish friend of mine visited last night. We’re sort of occasional friends – we saw a lot of each other at one point but only seem to manage meeting up every 4-6 months at the moment. So I packed DM off to the pub, and we had a girly re-bonding session.

Now this girl has had incredibly bad luck with men in her life. She’s been a victim of domestic violence and rape, she’s been cheated on, lied to, and generally had quite a bad time of it. Due to this, she finds it very hard to trust men and IMO relies far too much on Rules. Rules like never phone first, never suggest the next date, never say I love you first etc. Anyway, she has been seeing a new guy for about 6 weeks, and was fretting over the usual things:

‘Do I like him more than he likes me’;
‘Why hasn’t he called me for 3 days’;
‘Should I call him’;
‘Where is this going’….and so on

As it turned out, he called in the middle of our visit and she went from worried woman to blissful babe.

‘I don’t know why I worry so much’, she said.

The whole conversation made me want to sacrifice a goat to Venus in gratitude for what I have. Some partnered people (I’m big on the alliteration today!) miss the single life, long to be back in the dating game and regret that no more notches are going on that belt. I can’t think of anything worse. After being with someone who knows me so intimately and loves me anyway…!!! That closeness, that tenderness, that being with someone who really KNOWS you is probably the most precious thing I have yet experienced.

This is probably rather odd, but I keep a list of the men I have slept with. I got to about 7 and realised I had to think hard to remember a couple of the names, so I wrote them down. It seemed an important thing to do. Anyway, DM’s name is at the end of the list. I wrote him down after about two weeks, followed by the words “The End?”

I really hope it is.

2006-11-03T11:26:00.000Z

Murder and Infidelity

After yesterday’s post, it seemed a horrendous synchronicity when I saw this story on the news last night:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/northamptonshire/6110230.stm

This horrific crime is in NO WAY the mother’s fault. The fact that this ‘father’ is trying to blame her infidelity for his murder of his own child illustrates that he is a pathetic and low individual, one I am hesitant to call a human being.
I was watching TV with DM when this story came on. As a cuckolded man with a child, he was utterly shocked and disgusted that anyone would harm their own child as a means of punishing their errant spouse. Which is no surprise, because he is a good man and a wonderful father. I’m sure most men would react similarly to DM, although sadly not all.
My heart goes out to this bereaved woman. I cannot imagine what it would feel like, not only to lose your child, but to know that your chosen life partner was so far from who you thought he was that he was capable of taking his own 4-year-old daughter’s life. Loss is very hard. Loss through betrayal must be even worse.

2006-11-02T13:02:00.000Z

Infidelity

*note – the terms ‘marriage’ and ‘serious relationship’ are completely interchangeable in this post*

I think I may have weird ideas about infidelity. Firstly, it’s something I would NEVER EVER do under any circumstances, and that seems unusual. In my fairly small office, two people who are both married/seriously involved with others had an affair last year, and there is another affair hatching between a second pair of similarly involved colleagues. DM’s ex-wife had no concept of fidelity and embarked upon three affairs that he knows of during their 12-year relationship, the last of which sounded its deathknell. Another colleague I very much like and respect advised me that kissing (as in deep kissing) didn’t count as cheating. What’s with everybody? Even apparently nice, happily married men have made passes at me at office Christmas parties. This was when I was single – now DM comes to office parties with me.

My theory has always been if you are unhappy in any situation, change it or leave. Don’t cheat. If you are trapped in an unhappy marriage, the question is not ‘who should you shag to take your mind off it’, but why are you allowing yourself to be trapped?? Lady Chatterley had an excuse. The vast majority of Western people today don’t. There are a few circumstances where it’s understandable, but it’s very rare that the circumstance justifies the action and the totally unnecessary pain inflicted on the other partner.

Here’s another weird thought of mine – I think open marriages are perfectly ok and in no way the same as infidelity. To me, if you and your partner have an Agreement, it’s no longer unfaithfulness, because the two of you have agreed on your rules, and therefore you aren’t breaking them. I could never be in an open marriage (far too much scope for problems), but I don’t consider those in open marriages to be cheaters.

For me, infidelity is a deal breaker. He and I both know that ‘letting it out of your pants’ is not an option, and will never be an option, on pain of instant dissolution of the relationship.

Going back to my colleagues – it’s been a good test of nonjudgmental behaviour for me. Now, you may be surprised to see me saying that given the above, but I have never condemned the individuals involved or told them they are bad people for doing what they do. I think it’s totally wrong, but it’s their choice to make, not mine. I have been as supportive as possible while gently encouraging them to let it alone.

The oddest thing is that if the tables were turned, and their spouse cheated on them, they would be devastated. I think that sometimes people don’t think about the effects of their actions. They just think about how it feels at the time.

2006-10-18T09:59:00.000Z

Going back to school…hopefully

Oooh this is exciting! My company offers funding for work-related training and I am looking into doing my NVQ 4 in my field (did NVQs 1-3 about 10 years ago). For any non-UK readers, NVQs are nationally recognised vocational qualifications. Here’s the blurb:

“National Vocational Qualifications (NVQs) are work-related, competence-based qualifications. They reflect the skills and knowledge needed to do a job effectively, and show that a candidate is competent in the area of work the NVQ represents.
NVQs are based on national occupational standards. These standards are statements of performance that describe what competent people in a particular occupation are expected to be able to do. They cover all the main aspects of an occupation, including current best practice, the ability to adapt to future requirements and the knowledge and understanding that underpin competent performance.”
http://www.qca.org.uk/14-19/qualifications/index_nvqs.htm

So that’s what I’m looking into. The nearest college offering a part-time course is 50 miles from home, which is a fair old distance for me but the company will hopefully give me a day-release and will pay my travel expenses. There don’t seem to be any self-study options for this subject.

The college in question is sending me course details. I’m to present them to my boss at my appraisal next month, and we’ll see what happens. He’s already agreed in principle so all we need to do is hash out the details.

I’m really excited about this – I’ve wanted to study something for ages, and since my employers are unlikely to fund a degree in philosophy (snort), this will do nicely.

Will keep you updated :o)

On another subject, an acquaintance of mine has a film review website (www.mootfilm.com) and he posted my Superman Returns review that made it’s first appearance on this blog a couple of months ago – and I’ve been asked to do some more, tee hee :oD

2006-10-14T08:09:00.000Z

Muslim Issues

Well it's an odd title but encapsulates the subject pretty well. Over the last fortnight, two Islam-related news items have caught my eye. Here is the first:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,,1887967,00.html
"Sir Ian Blair, the Metropolitan police commissioner, last night ordered an urgent review of a policy that allows officers to refuse certain duties on moral grounds after a decision to excuse a Muslim policeman from guarding the Israeli embassy.
PC Alexander Omar Basha, who is attached to the force's Diplomatic Protection Group, objected to being posted to protect Israel's embassy in central London from possible terrorist attack because he disagreed with the country's bombing of Lebanon." (article continues)

If you are a police officer, firefighter, medical professional or other 'public servant', you MUST be a police officer etc first, and anything else second. To allow a public servant to discriminate who he will protect or aid based on his political, religious or racial affiliations is so incredibly wrong I can't even do the subject justice.

Imagine where we would be if doctors decided who to treat based on the patient's nationality. 'Sorry, you're Zimbabwean and your country has a terrible record on human rights - no antibiotics for you!'

I wonder how it will all pan out.

And the second Islamic story du jour is here:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/5410472.stm

"Jack Straw, the ex-foreign secretary, has angered Muslim groups by suggesting women who wear veils over their face can make community relations harder.
The Blackburn MP says the veil is a "visible statement of separation and of difference" and he asks women visiting his surgery to consider removing it. "

Apparently this came to the media's attention because a particular woman who had come into the minister's surgery wearing a veil which showed only her eyes reported being asked to open her veil so her whole face was visible.

I had a very energetic debate with virtually my entire family about this one. I think Mr Straw was out of order to ask that the veil be removed. My family argued that if a person is in this country they should follow our rules, which I completely agree with. But here's the thing - there is no explicit rule in the UK that covering one's face is impolite. It's not like refusing to shake hands or ignoring a greeting. There is no rule, implicit or expressed, that says covering your face is rude. Therefore the lady was not contravening a rule, therefore Mr Straw had no right to insist that she drop her veil.

One argument made is that it's more difficult to communicate when you can't see someone's face. I suppose that the people making that argument have great difficulty speaking on the telephone then? No. Thought not.

Mr Straw may have felt uncomfortable speaking to a veiled woman, but in the context of his surgery he is in the position of being the host and the Muslim lady was his guest. As such, it is his responsibility to ensure that SHE is comfortable, even if that results in some discomfort for him.

2006-10-01T08:00:00.000Z

MMMMMM, DANCING (Homer Simpson-esque drool).....

Last night I performed with some fellow bellydance students and our teacher at an Arabic Dance festival thingy. It was held in a school theatre in Salisbury (about 1hr's drive from me) and we were the 3rd of 18 acts. We were doing an Oriental Veil dance, which I personally LOVE - veil work is my favourite 'discipline' within bellydance so far. We were all in full cabaret costume, which means outfits like this:
http://www.atlantabellydance.com/Overview/Costumes.html
(mainly the Cabaret style section, but it's a great little page for a general overview of the different types of dance costume within Arabic dance)

AND we were going to dance on a stage with full lighting being filmed. Which I didn't know before I got there, lol! The result of that was that my makeup was grossly inadequate to the task at hand. I don't wear makeup on a daily basis, and I thought I'd been quite bold - but no! My teacher arrived and immediately pulled me down to sit by her so she could draw on me ;o) After 5mins, my makeup could have shamed a streetwalker, LOLOL! But I'm told that it would only just have shown up on film as even BEING makeup. My teacher has a great deal of experience, having been performing on stage in one way or another since she was about 5. So far, so groovy.

The real nerves didn't hit until we were in the wings. Which is a huge improvement from the first time I performed last December, when it was just for a dozen old people and I still felt I was going to be sick beforehand, lol! But anyway, there we are in the wings, and then - we're on. It all went very well for the first few bars, during which we stand in one place and wave our veils about delicately. But as soon as I took a step, I knew I was in trouble.

Generally one would dance barefoot indoors, but I have these cute little sequinned slippers that go very nicely with my blue outfit (which I was wearing that day) and I had them on. BIG mistake. I took one step and realised that I had no traction with the floor! It was a smooth dance-floor and the soles of my slippers were smooth to counteract rough surfaces eg dancing on grass. IDIOT! I think being constantly worried about slipping affected my performance - I spun the wrong direction at one point, and I'm sure that's going to show up clearly on the DVD *cringe*. But I didn't slip (hurray!) and apart from the spin didn't make any important errors in the dance. My mum was in the audience, so I had someone to make me smile at least, lol!

Anyway, dance ends, off we go. We were not allowed to watch acts in the same half we were in (IOW first-half dancers watch second-half acts & vice versa), so we went to have a look at the souk (pronounced sook), or bazaar. This probably all sounds very big and grand, but it wasn't really. There were about 50 people in the audience, and the souk was four or five rails of costumes and a couple of tables of jewellery etc. All the same, it was the most official event I have yet attended. I was very grateful to see that they had laid on tea and mini muffins for us - I was starved! As I stood there, tea in hand, rifling through the costumes, the first half ended and the audience started to trickle out to the souk. I was still in costume, but I'd wrapped my veil around me in such a way as to cover my previously exposed areas ;o)

Pushed to the side by the crowd, I was leaning against a wall sipping away when a girl in her early 20s accosted me. She complimented me on my top (an unusual butterfly design) and asked me how long I'd been dancing. When I said nearly two years she was amazed. She'd expected me to say 6 or 7! I said 'I love you - you can stay!' Bless. We chatted through most of the intermission. She was a beginner, had only been dancing 3 months so I gave her a couple of tips and we talked about what the dance means to us. I've said it before on this blog, but possibly the best thing about bellydancing is the confidence it seems to give in one's own body. Gone are the pressures to be skinny, nobody cares if you have a belly the size of a house. It's all about how you move it. And as such, a dancer is beautiful no matter her size.

I love it.

2006-09-30T11:11:00.000Z

Well, we had the timeline chat. He was great - totally understands where I'm coming from, and he's broody too except that it isn't an insanity with men like it is for women! While we didn't set an exact date, he is going to see a possible new employer this week and we have more or less agreed that less money is ok if it's a better job. I think the overall result is more steam behind the jobsearch, which will lead to a quicker result - i hope!

If anyone has any spare prayers, spells or good wishes, please could they point them towards DM getting a good, well paid job that he will be happy doing long-term.

Thanks xxx

2006-09-22T20:38:00.000Z

Oh help! I think I'm going mad!

I've mentioned once or twice that I'm completely broody, right? It's getting worse. I am going into meltdown!

My sister, my YOUNGER sister (she's 24yo, i'm 27), is 4mos pregnant. My friend Karen just had a baby. My friend Lisa's baby is 10 mos old and today he CRIED when I left. He actually cried for me, and this kid has seen me once a week at most. I got into my car on the verge of tears.

My situation is that we are going to have kids, but not yet. He wants a more stable & better-paying job, which is fair enough because his current job situation is awful. He's looking hard, but hasn't found anything yet. And in the meantime, I wait. And it's driving me nuts. I was broody for a couple of years before I even met the guy, and now I have the man I'm pretty sure I want to spend my life with and it's getting worse month on month.

Does anyone have any advice? Maybe a herbal remedy to make my hormones SHUT THE FUCK UP? But it's not just my hormones. It's my heart. I yearn for a baby. I once had to give Lisa her baby back because he was laughing up at me and I thought I was going to cry.

Oh God, I need help!!!

2006-08-29T11:06:00.000Z

Thought for the day:

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy - Spike Milligan

2006-08-28T09:54:00.000Z

I give up. I've been promising a Sicily blog for TWO MONTHS, and I can't quite manage to write it. Therefore, it must not want to be written. I keep having ideas for a blog and thinking 'oh but i have to write the Sicily one first' - well bollocks! Sicily was great, everyone should go there. Fini.

One very cool thing did happen - I had the Goddess experience I've been after :o)

My friend and I had had a bit of a tiff, so we went our separate ways for an afternoon. I wandered into Taormina, had a gelati (best icecream in HISTORY), got caught in a short sharp shower....and a beautiful little old church caught my eye. It was, of course, a Catholic church, and the doors were standing open. An old man came out as I went in, and I was alone in the church.

The first thing I saw was a beautiful Madonna and Child statue behind the altar. As I looked around, I realised that this was to all intents and purposes, a church to Mary. There were statues of her everywhere, and only one of Jesus alone.

I sat in the second row of pews (didn't feel confident enough to sit at the front of the class), and I just looked at that Madonna and Child. As I looked at Her, a perception of Motherhood stole over me, growing larger and larger, until it filled my consciousness and beyond, encompassing all Motherhood - Mother Mary, Mother Earth, my mother, my grandmother, all mothers everywhere, and my own potential motherhood.

As with all esoteric experiences, it is so hard to describe, but I think the best way to put it is 'God as Mother/Mother as God'. But even that is insufficient - argh! Perhaps 'Mother God as all'...

Well, if anyone reading has ever had a consciousness-expanding experience, perhaps they will understand my poor words :o)

2006-08-03T16:33:00.000Z

Another fluff blog until I get to posting my holiday stories and the serious blog:

Mel Gibson's anti-Semite rant has me a bit puzzled. Disclaimer: Everything he is reported to have said about Jews is bad and he shouldn't have said it.

BUT - why is it ok when he is rampantly anti-English and not ok when he is anti-Semite?

He has been anti-English for YEARS, and as proof I offer Braveheart and The Patriot, neither of which have a single 'good' English character - all the many English characters in both films are bad. Why is it ok to make films rubbishing my country but not ok to say nasty things about another country/race? Why is it that an accusation of anti-Semitism can wreck a career, but not one of anti-Americanism, anti-Britishism, anti-Koreanism and so forth?

Maybe it's because the Jews have been very persecuted throughout history, and so might be understandably sensitive about jerkoff statements like Mel's. I'm not denying that they have been through some serious shit, but what I don't get is why the double standard.

If anyone reading this can shed any light, I would welcome it! Maybe I'm missing something really obvious, I don't know...

2006-07-20T09:41:00.000Z

I saw Superman Returns last night in a hot and sticky cinema. Notwithstanding the uncomfortable surroundings and my own misgivings, I actually enjoyed it. I had feared that any attempt at a Superman movie would fall so short of the Christopher Reeve original that it would be unwatchable. But it wasn’t. Brandon Routh (Superman) has found an interesting solution to the problem of stepping into another man’s iconic boots – he doesn’t try to surpass Reeve, he tries to BE Reeve. And succeeds rather well, to the point that you wonder if Reeve’s spirit might have reincarnated 25-odd years before he actually died! The voice is particularly uncanny. It’s a little odd to see an actor mimic another’s performance, but what you can see of Routh under the Reeve is promising.

The basic premise is this: Superman returns having disappeared for 5 years. We know this was to search for Krypton and any other Kryptonians, but Lois doesn’t. He left without saying goodbye. While he was away, she had a child, got engaged and won a Pulitzer for an article titled ‘Why the world doesn’t need Superman’. Lex Luthor was released from prison on appeal because Superman didn’t make his court date, and is now gleefully plotting the reduction of North America from a continent to an archipelago.

Kate Bosworth is Lois Lane in the Margot Kidder tradition – an attractive but not beautiful woman whose draw is primarily her personality. Having said that, Margot Kidder was buoyant Lois, conquering-the-world Lois. Bosworth’s is more damaged, a woman abandoned by the great love of her life and forced to move on, but never able to fully let go of that love.

In the role of Lex Luthor, Kevin Spacey is creepy where Gene Hackman was thuggish. He slithers through the film with relish and is great fun to watch, but was much less threatening than Hackman, I thought. With Hackman, you actually thought Superman might lose.

One complaint I have is the CGI. As so often with recent uber-CGId films, there are a couple of shots where Superman looks like a cartoon. An unwise close-up shot of a face that isn’t really there, and you feel like you’re watching Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Of course, the pleasure of hearing John Williams’ all-conquering score more than makes up for these technical quibbles. I never saw Reeve’s Superman films in the cinema (the first Reeve Superman film was released in 1978, the year before I was born, the last was in 1987, when I was an 8yr-old in Thailand) and the thrill of hearing THAT score on cinema speakers gave me goosebumps.

An interesting thing is the number of God/Saviour references in the films. Prometheus is referenced verbally, Atlas and Jesus are referenced visually, and of course Superman is repeatedly referred to as a saviour.

The film left me with a peculiar yearning – a wish that it could be real, that there could be such a hero. I wonder if the basis of religion is simply that – the human yearning for a superhero, a saviour.

And in that vein, I’ll end this post with some appropriate lyrics from Nickelback. The song is called Hero.

I am so high. I can hear heaven.
I am so high. I can hear heaven.
Oh but heaven, no heaven don’t hear me.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I’m not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Someone told me love will all save us.
But how can that be, look what love gave us.
A world full of killing, and blood-spilling
that world never came.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I’m not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.

Now that the world isn't ending, its love that I’m sending to you.
It isn’t the love of a hero, and that’s why I fear it won’t do.

And they say that a hero can save us.
I’m not gonna stand here and wait.
I'll hold onto the wings of the eagles.
Watch as we all fly away.
And they're watching us (Watching Us)
and they're watching us (Watching Us)
as we all fly away.yeahaahh...ooouuhh

PS: Holiday blog to follow, also another that is far more serious than that or this one. It’s just taking me a while to write due to emotional content. Thanks for your patience.

2006-06-30T15:42:00.000Z

Bye everybody...

I'm off to Sicily tonight for a week, will tell you all about it when i get back ;o)

2006-06-26T16:50:00.000Z

This is an amazing article posted on another blog - a 1959 op-ed on the subject of miscegenation (mixed-race marriage). I never realised how much the anti-interracial marriage and anti-gay marriage camps had in common. It's eerie. Check it out:

http://moderateleft.com/?p=2287

The encouraging thing is that mixed-race couples beat this kind of bigotry. My very best wishes to same-sex couples - may you be as successful!

2006-06-19T13:16:00.000Z

Whinge, whinge, bloody whinge

My mum isn’t well (menopause-related problems) and has been more or less confined to bed for the last week or so. My dad is away, so naturally we are all rallying round to help wherever we can. Lola and my brother still live at home, so they’ve been doing as much as they can. My second sister (C) and her boyfriend (K) have also been round there every day after work, cooking, gardening, etc. C & K live in a rented bedroom and so do not really have a home of their own. K works fulltime but C only works 10-4.30. Their room is a 5 min walk from my parents’ place. Even when Mum is well, they’re round my folks’ most nights as my folks’ place is comfortable and nice, and they feel at home there. K likes gardening and handyman jobs, so he has been doing those for my folks for a while, as he doesn’t have his own home at the mo.

Now, I DO have my own home and my own responsibilities outside of work. I live further away (not massively far, bout 15 mins drive) and work longer hours. My SO thinks my parents are great but he hasn’t bonded with them like K has. He also works long hours and now has 2 jobs.

So here’s the rub. My mum is not well, and I have been round there 3 or 4x last week, including most of the weekend. I am doing all I can – helping her take a bath, doing the shopping, taking the dog for a walk, etc. And I feel guilty, because C & K are practically living there and I can’t. K has been giving me ‘why aren’t you helping more’ vibes and it’s driving me mad! I CAN’T DO ANY MORE!!! If I am to have any time with SO, any opportunity to do my own housework and occasionally a moment to myself, not to mention trying to see friends every now and then, I can’t be round there every evening. My mum says ‘Oh, I know you have your own life and I’m grateful for whatever you can give’, and to me that implies that I should be giving more. As if anything short of total self-annihilation is too little.

Now I have to say, this is mainly my own guilt and frustration talking. My mum has been very appreciative of my efforts, and the ‘why don’t you help more’ vibes are coming from BIL, not from Mum. But it still kills me. I’m the oldest, it has always been my role to take care of things if my dad is away. And this time I can’t do it.

Had to go into the toilets at work and have a little cry earlier. I rarely do that, but today it was necessary.

2006-06-14T10:16:00.000Z

Please forgive me, but I wrote a poem this morning and I’m going to post it. I beg your indulgence, as I don’t do this very often and that is my excuse for inflicting the following on you:

- Together -

His smile makes me laugh
His pain makes me cry
His puzzlement makes me think
His daughter is my daughter
His anger troubles me

My laugh makes him smile
My tears give him pain
My thoughts intrigue him
My family is his family
My disquiet troubles him

An attack on one is an attack on both
A kindness to one is a kindness to both
To love one is to love both
This is us, together.

2006-06-13T09:15:00.000Z

Hey kids, I’m back!!

Have been home a week now, sorry I didn’t blog before this but it’s been a bit mad. It’s nice that everyone wants to see us & hear our holiday stories, but it also means that we’ve been slightly rushed off our feet! And of course there was an enormous pile of shite waiting for me when I got back to work on Thurs, lol! Oh well.

Anyway, the holiday ROCKED! We went to Kefalonia, which you might know of from the book/film Captain Corelli’s Mandolin. Apparently it’s one of the most beautiful islands in Greece, and it was absolutely stunning. Unfortunately we forgot the digital camera, so I can’t post any pix at the mo!! There are some nice ones here though:

http://www.ionion.com/

If you enter the English site, then go to About Kefalonia/Slide Show/Capital, Lassi was the resort we stayed at and Argostoli (the capital) was the nearest town to us. Both very beautiful, although Lassi is really just a tourist strip. I doubt if much goes on there in the winter. The main street is just shops and restaurants (no non-touristy businesses) and there seemed to be more hotels & tourist accommodation there than homes.

Our accommodation was in an apartment complex with a pool and bar, which just happened to be situated at the top of a fairly steep hill! Bearing in mind my recent mishaps (dislocated kneecap), this was rather challenging at first, but it got easier as the holiday went on. The pool & bar were very nice, and the barman was this lovely bloke called Artor. He was an absolute genius when it came to cocktails, and of course no-one bothers to measure alcohol over there! None of this ‘British Standard Measure’ rubbish. If you ask for an Archers (peach schapps) and lemonade, you get half Archers and half lemonade! Strangely though, we didn’t get properly drunk once. DM commented on that, and I said ‘well, we aren’t stressed. We don’t need to get drunk to relax – we’re already relaxed.’

The beaches were superb, especially Malos Gialos (Long Beach), about 10 mins walk from our apartment. The water was so clear, DM was standing in it up to his chin (he’s 6’1”) and could still see his feet! There were little fish swimming around in the shallows, and DM and I had a wonderful time just splashing around and playing in the sea, lol!

Of course one thing I was really looking forward to was the food. I don’t believe in going abroad and eating British food. DM is slightly less adventurous, which is to say he does exactly that, LOL! However, if I got a local dish that looked reasonable, he tried it. And that’s how he discovered lamb kleftico, which he now wants me to try to make at home, lol! Kleftico, btw, is lamb shank with potato, onion, sweet pepper, olive oil etc wrapped in foil and (probably slow) cooked in the oven. And it is utterly GORGEOUS! He did generally stick to the safe stuff though, while I was eating moussaka, souvlaki, Greek yogurt & honey, local specialities (eg Kefalonian meat pie), seafood and so on. I had fun :oD AND I didn’t get a bad tummy once!

Our two favourite restaurants in Lassi were Zorbas and Sirtaki. We went to Sirtaki for breakfast nearly every afternoon (yes, we rarely got out of the flat before noon ;o)) but only went there for dinner on the Sunday night before we left. If there was one thing I could do differently about the holiday, it would have been to go to Sirtaki earlier in the holiday and more often! It was just wonderful. The food was amazing, and the owner made everyone feel individually welcome. He came to our table and compared gadgety watches with DM (boys and their toys), recommended a dessert for us (although we got Brownie instead of the Brulee we’d ordered. It was delicious, but I think he had a stern word with his kitchen staff!) and when we were leaving, invited us to look at his garden. This turned out to be a stunning outdoor bar area behind the restaurant, with comfortable seating, porch swings, big bucket wicker chairs and a very tropical-style bar. Not to mention the ENORMOUS flat-screen TV that was showing the football! He brought us up to the bar, and poured us a shot of an ouzo-like drink that I think was called Kazi or Kari or something like that. Anyway, it burned all the way down and left me somewhat wobbly, lol! I had to sit quietly and have a nice Archers and lemonade before attempting to stand ;o)

Zorbas we discovered quite early on and went to twice during the week we were there. Our last Greek dinner was there, and we got to see (male) Greek dancers doing all the traditional dances, including fire dancing and lifting a table in their teeth. Inside the menu was a list of the names of the dances they were doing, and I was very interested to see that Bellydance was on that list. The bellydancing I do is primarily Egyptian, so I was very interested to see what Greek bellydancing is like. The male dancers put a small table in the middle of the floor with a chair by it, and then brought a girl out of the kitchen who stood up on the table and danced. I was disappointed to see that she was not a trained bellydancer, and what she was doing was what you might see any girl do in a club. She also didn’t look too comfortable dancing on that table in front of an audience, and I gathered that she had been sort of press-ganged because they wanted a female in the act. Anyway, Uncomfortable Girl got down, and they started to pull girls up from the audience to dance one at a time on this table. And, after a couple others had gone up, they pulled me. Well, there I was, on a table and expected to bellydance. So I did! Hip shimmies, hagallahs, hip drops, camels, shoulder shimmies – I was doing my thing. And the room went mad, lol! I wasn’t paying any attention to the audience really, I was just trying not to fall off the table! But DM said they were raising the roof. In his words ‘It was obvious you really knew what you were doing’. He was v proud of me *blush*. All in all, a rather groovy evening!

The best thing about the holiday was the time DM and I got to spend together. Just the two of us, no phones (except for when he called his daughter), no TV, no radio, no work, no responsibilities, no worries, nothing we HAD to do except be together and have fun. It was sheer bliss!! And now I can really see us being a doddery retired old couple with nothing else to do but annoy each other. In fact, I can hardly wait, lol!

Sigh. I love my man.

Thank you for your patience if you’ve read this far, I hope it was reasonably entertaining ;o)

2006-05-27T10:35:00.000Z

In Nelle's grand tradition, I'm going to post some lyrics to a bloody good song by Nerina Pallot. She reminds me of Alanis Morrissette a bit - which is a HUGE compliment :o) If you haven't heard this song, go and find it.

'Everybody's Gone To War'

I've got a friend, he's a pure-bred killing machine,
He says he's waited his whole damn life for this,
I knew him well when he was seventeen,
Now he's a man; he'll be dead by Christmas.
And so...
Everybody's going to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,
No cause could be so worthy.

If love is a drug, then I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song then I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...

If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...

For every man who wants to rule the world,
There'll be a man who just wants to be free,
What do we learn but what should not be learnt?
Too late to find a cure for this disease.
And so...

Everybody's going to war,
But we don't know what we're fighting for,
Don't tell me it's a worthy cause,
No cause could be so worthy.
If love is a drug, I guess we're all sober,
If hope is a song, I guess it's all over,
How to have faith, when faith is a crime?
I don't want to die...

If God's on our side, then God is a joker,
Asleep on the job, his children fall over,
Running out through the door, and straight to the sky,
I don't want to die...
I-I-I-I don't want to die,
I-I don't want to die...

I've got a friend, he's a pure-bred killing machine,
I think he might be dead by Christmas...

2006-05-26T16:45:00.000Z

well, now that I'm unlocked I'm going to bugger off to Greece for a week! Leaving Tues, may or may not have a chance to blog over the weekend but will have A LOT to say when I get back Tues 6th.

Have a great time while I'm gone!

2006-05-25T12:57:00.000Z

Stole this from a post of Nelle's on ivillage. I thought it was awesome:

"Choose your path. Choose it knowing the validity of all other paths. Only then will your choice have merit. "

2006-05-24T13:13:00.000Z

23/5/06

Infuriatingly, Blogger has decided that this is a spam blog and has locked me out, so I will save this as a draft and hope that they will EVENTUALLY unlock me! Nelle, how are you finding your new blog platform? I may have to think about migration.

ANYWAY….

Lola and I went with the rest of our family to a handfasting ceremony on Sunday. For those who have no idea what a handfasting is, look here:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Handfasting
http://www.handfasting.info/

It was an incredibly beautiful ceremony. For someone like me, it may in fact be the ideal choice when I eventually ‘tie the knot’ (an expression originating in handfasting). Town Halls are soulless, and churches mean little to me. Something like this is all about nature, all about the earth and our connection to her and to each other…..it’s very powerful.

Since handfasting ceremonies differ, I’m going to describe the one we attended. If this is boring, skip to the end because Lola and I contributed to the day in a very cool way, which I’ll write about at the end. Anyway, here’s what happened (I won’t bore you with the preliminary ‘waiting round for the rain to stop’ business, lol!)

The ceremony was held in the 9-acre (!!!) garden of a house owned by friends of the couple. There was a beautiful well-kept garden section, behind which was a big woodlandy chunk, in which the ceremony was held.

Once everyone was ready to begin and the weather eased up, the men and women were separated. The women went up to the house to meet the bride, and the men went to the ceremonial area with the groom. Once there, we were taught a song to sing as we walked before the bride to the ceremonial area. Lola happily banged at a drum she’d been given, and I sang at the top of my lungs as we walked down, with my 3rd sister shushing me for singing too loud, lol!

The bride followed the noisy crowd of female guests in a beautiful red dress, with a garland of leaves and flowers on her head. The red dress made a particular impression on me. Not only did it suit her black skin wonderfully, it reminded me that we were not attending a patriarchal virginal-woman wedding. She was dressed in the colour of blood, the colour of life, the colour long associated with female strength and weakness. The colour of womanhood. It brought Ayla and the Earth Children to my mind, as well as, of course, the Red Tent.

As we walked through the woods singing and drumming, I felt like I should have had a flaming torch in my hand. As we neared the ceremonial area, a small clearing, we could hear the men’s voices lifted in the same song. We reached the area, and saw that the men were walking in a circle around the ceremonial space. This was formed of four 7ft arches facing the four directions, which had been made by long wooden poles which were planted into the ground at one end and crossed each other at the other end, like this:

*damn blogger won't let me put the pic in, but you get the idea!*

Each pole was decorated from end to end with vines, leaves and flowers. At each arch was a representation of one of the four elements – a rose quartz stone for Earth, a bowl of water for Water, a lighted incense stick planted in the ground for Fire. For Air, a feather was tied to the top of the arch where the poles joined.

In front of the Earth arch was the stump of a tree, which had been covered by a cloth. On this altar were two small candles, a larger candle and a glass. A bottle of red wine rested against the altar. I later learned that the two candles on the altar represented the two of them, and the larger candle represented their union.

As we came into the clearing, the men continued to march in a circle around the ceremonial area, singing the song. We joined them, filtering into their circle, making it larger. The officiator (I may not call her Priestess as she does not claim that title) stood before the Earth arch and behind the altar. When the circle stopped, I was lucky to be standing just to her left behind the arch, so I could see both the bride and groom’s faces.

The groom stood just outside the ceremonial space, to the left of the officiator, behind the Air arch. The bride stood on the other side of the space, to the right of the officiator, behind the Water arch. I’m not going to repeat the whole ceremony here, but it was more or less like this: http://www.handfasting.info/hand4.html

After that bit of the ceremony, we all lined up in two lines facing each other and made an arch of our arms for the happy couple to walk through. The last part of the ceremony was jumping the fire. Which means exactly what it says – holding hands, they jumped over a fire! My mum got a great action shot, lol! And then we ate and drank in a very atmospheric construction (basically an outdoor stage with a tent draped over it), which reminded me of those Viking halls you see in films – low ceilinged, dark, bedecked inside with garlands of anything that grows! There was also a yurt, of all things! It was the real thing, except it had a wooden door instead of flaps, and it was all tricked out inside with cushions and low divan-style seating. Very Turkish, and you had to take your shoes off before going in. Several of the attendees had brought musical instruments, so while we ate we listened to drums, a fiddle, a flute, a dulcimer etc.

There was also a small fire, around which everyone clustered as the sun was dipping and it was starting to get cold. At this point the bride indicated to Lola and I that it was time for us to do our bit, so we went into the yurt and came out after about 10mins - in full bellydancing gear!! Unfortunately the CD player couldn’t read our CD, so we ended up jamming with the musicians – we danced to their playing and they played to our dancing. It was incredible. There we were, in an unrehearsed, exuberant dance around a campfire in the middle of a woodland.

After we’d danced around for a while, we pulled up some (un)willing volunteers and taught them some basic moves. I was really impressed with Lola at this point, and the way she worked the crowd. Everyone was howling with laughter because we had 2 guys up as well as the officiator and my 2nd sister, and watching men try to do these extremely feminine moves is just hysterical, lol! All the volunteers were great sports, clowning around and really getting into it. Finally we were exhausted, and left the ‘stage’ (a patch of slightly less muddy grass) to tremendous applause and cheers.

Overall, an amazing day!

2006-05-24T07:26:00.000Z

Hi kids!!! Infuriatingly, Blogger decided that I was a spam post so I've been locked since Saturday, and they have just today unlocked me. Thanks very much!!!

Have lots to blog about, so watch this space - it'll be busy over the next couple days ;o)

2006-05-14T17:03:00.000Z

I'm so proud - my little sister posted her first blog entry today! Readers, read this:
http://celea-lola.blogspot.com/

2006-05-11T07:35:00.000Z

So I watched Brokeback last night. This post is going to have some spoilers, so if you haven't seen it and plan to, read no further.

*******************************************************************************

My god, that is one of the saddest films I have ever seen! The worst thing IMO was the immense potential their relationship had, IF it had been allowed to flourish. They balanced each other out so beautifully, they could have been so happy ..... if only.... And the collateral damage caused by thwarting their love was considerable too.

Oddly, I felt a strange disassociation while watching the film. It took me a little while to figure out why. As a female, I am excluded from this romantic tale. And with that thought came an idea of a possible reason that homosexuality is so threatening to some people – it leaves them out. If anyone watches a straight love story, there is someone of their own gender in that story that they can identify with. Both genders are represented. In a gay love story, of course, only one is.

Maybe that’s one reason why gay love stories have not often been told. I realise there are LOTS more reasons, but I had never heard this one posited before. It was brand new and shiny out of my brain, lol!

Also it’s very early and I am not totally awake yet, so if this is a total load of bollocks let me know :oD

2006-05-04T14:43:00.000Z

THIS IS SO GODDAM COOL!!

My friend A called up yesterday to invite me on a week’s holiday to Sicily with her – all expenses paid!! I AM SO EXCITED! We’ve been friends for nearly 7 yrs now and when we met she was dealing with a lot of shit that I’ve been able to help her with over that period, and I guess she wanted to say thanks, lol (plus wanting company on the holiday). Not that she needed to do this, but I am NOT about to say no!

We’re going to be an hour’s drive away from Mt Etna (no eruption jokes please!) on the fabulous island of Sicily in the beginning of July, when it’s likely to be waaayy too hot for me but A will be in her element. I have no idea why she was born in England, in body and temperament she belongs to much warmer climes.

AND I am going to the Greek island of Kefalonia with DM at the end of this month. Think of it…Greece and Italy in the same year!! Well, I wanted to know about goddesses. I can hardly think of better places to find out, lol!

HOO-EFFING-RAY!!! I am going to have SO much to post about when I get back!

Is anyone still reading this?

2006-04-27T16:19:00.000Z

Here’s an astonishing thing:

I have purchased Brokeback and plan to watch it with my mum and youngest sister in a couple of weeks when SO goes off for training in another town. We’re going to make a night of it with fattening food and booze, and they’ll stay round.

Now, my second sister (next down from me) was round last night, heard me talking about the planned jollity and asked me if she could join in. I hemmed and hawed ‘well, I don’t think you’ll like the film’ etc and finally just told her outright that I didn’t think she would be able to keep herself from making ‘eww that’s gross’ comments wrt the content of the film. A discussion ensued, with her telling me that homosexuality is unnatural and me using every example and explanation I know to show her that it IS natural. I told her about the male emperor penguins who pair up and raise chicks. I told her about the fact that rats in crowded conditions are more likely to exhibit homosexual behaviour than rats in open spaces, indicating that it is a natural restraint on population growth. I explained that you are BORN gay or straight, and that as she could not choose to be gay, gay people could not choose to be straight.

Her answer was, ‘well, I don’t believe it’s inborn. It’s sick and unnatural’. To which I said, ‘well, that’s why you aren’t invited.’

2006-04-24T15:36:00.000Z

OH DEAR GOD I’M SO BROODY!!

I went to see a friend and her 5month old son at lunch today, and that child reduced me to a small hormonal puddle. At one point I was bouncing him on my knee. He started to laugh and giggle, and after a couple of minutes I had to give him back to his mother because I feared total disintegration! Mine, that is. Not his.

I want a baby. I. WANT. A. BABY!!!!

Two things hold us up. I want him to be divorced. Now don’t freak out – yes he’s still technically married but they were separated for 2 years before he met me and she has been living with someone else this whole time. It’s a piece of paper. Which we will hopefully get soon. But I will not have kids with him until it’s done.

He doesn’t want us to have kids until he has a better job for better money. So these two things we have to sort out before we can start breeding like bunny wabbits. He’s broody too, just not as bad as me LOL.

2006-04-13T15:18:00.000Z

My bellydancing post and Nelle’s comments on it made me think of how I look at people. This sounds very silly, but I think that most everyone has something about them that is beautiful, and I think that I think that because of Anne Rice.

Anne Rice’s Lestat is in love with humanity. Every person he sees has a unique beauty in his eyes by virtue of being alive. This undead person looks at an obese, facially scarred woman and sees her as beautiful. Lestat’s perspective caused a change in how I look at people. I don’t use the word ‘ugly’ any more in reference to how a person looks, only in reference to how a person acts. The change wasn’t even a conscious thing – I just don’t see people in the same terms any more.

That also applies to myself. I used to really obsess about my weight, but although I’m now the heaviest I have ever been (150lb on 5’4” frame) due to my recent forced inactivity, I’m not that worried about it. I’m beautiful and loved. I don’t have to be skinny. I’m looking forward to being stronger and fitter when I can go back to my usual routine, but I’m not obsessing. It’s wonderful :oD

I was saying to a friend how much I like the Pink song ‘Stupid Girls’. I would be far happier to suddenly put on a stone than to suddenly lose the ability to think. JK Rowling recently posted something along these lines:

Is fat really the worst thing we can say about someone? Is it worse than mean, vindictive, boring or cruel?
(full rant here: http://www.jkrowling.com/textonly/en/extrastuff_view.cfm?id=22)

Food for thought. Mmm…food ;o)

2006-04-13T10:03:00.000Z

I'm excited. I've preordered Brokeback for when it comes out on Apr 24th. I fully intended to see it in the cinema, but it's difficult to sit in a cinema seat when your leg is covered in fibreglass and sticking out in front of you.

So, hurray. I will finally get to see it and then I will be able to a: blog about it, b: read other people's blogs about it which I have been avoiding in case someone gives away the ending.

Hurray.

2006-04-11T11:26:00.000Z

A Bellydancing Blog

Bellydancing is great. I miss it. There’s a lot of knee movement involved, so I can’t start up again until I’m fully recovered. Which isn’t yet. So instead of dancing, I’ll blog about dancing!

Bellydancing is probably the most feminine type of dancing I have yet come across. There is a common misconception that it is solely an erotic dance to be performed for men, but it was in fact developed by women and for women – a sacred dance, if you will, which has interesting health benefits. For instance, one of the movements most associated with bellydancing is the Camel, which is a wave-like movement of the stomach. On no account should this movement be done in the first trimester of pregnancy for fear of miscarriage, but if you do it in the last couple of weeks it can engage the baby’s head. When not pregnant, the movement strengthens the stomach muscles and massages the internal organs.

Of course, the erotic aspect is also there and it is essentially a performance dance, although I would say the overall character of the dance is sensual rather than erotic. It CAN be sexual but it doesn’t HAVE to be. Actually if you’re good, the suggestion is there but it’s never blatant. Bellydancers aren’t erotic dancers. There is a big difference.

One of the most powerful effects it has that I have observed is the effect upon the dancers themselves. You don’t have to be skinny to be an incredible dancer. In fact, one of the best bellydancers I have seen so far is at least a dress size 18. IMO the dance helps women to see that they can be sexy and attractive and gorgeous without being stick figures. Part of the way it does this is by getting them to get their bellies out, lol! I can’t think of anyone I know, regardless of size, who still covers their stomach after taking lessons for a year. You do at first, because you’re self-conscious. But as you go on, somehow you don’t need to hide your body any more. You become the dance, and the dance is beautiful.

AND you get to wear fabulous outfits like this:
http://www.geocities.com/bellydanceman/

Boo Hoo. I miss it.

2006-04-05T12:15:00.000Z

I need a Blog To Do list. I've said I'll blog like 5 different things that have been tangentially touched upon and people (usually Nelle, lol!) have commented on in a 'would like to hear more' sort of way, or else have just occurred to me as entertaining future topics. Let's see now: Bellydancing
Driving lessons/tests
Science and theology not being at each other's throats
The Red Tent & the motherline
More memories of living in other countries and stuff about growing up a missionary kid
Differing opinions within healthy relationships, or How Not to Mind

I think I'll post this and refer back to it as my To Do list when I can't think of what to post. :o)

2006-04-04T13:53:00.000Z

I SO agree with this:

S.C. May Soon Execute Repeat Child Rapists
State Senate Gives Preliminary Approval To Bill

COLUMBIA, S.C. -- The South Carolina Senate has given preliminary approval to a bill that authorizes the death penalty for twice-convicted child rapists.
The proposal approved Tuesday still needs a final reading before going on to the House.
It would authorize prosecutors to seek capital punishment for any sex offender convicted twice of raping children younger than 11.

more story: http://www.nbc10.com/news/8335069/detail.html

I support the death penalty for very few things, but child molestation is ABSOLUTELY one of them. A repeat child molester has voluntarily sacrificed his/her right to exist on this planet. I hope it hurts.

Actually, I would probably opt for the parents of the molested child/ren (or the victims themselves, if they are now fully-grown) to have this choice:

In a room with the perp. Perp in restraints, possibly against the wall. Table of shiny sharp implements by the door, for the victims/parents' easy access. Two hours of whatever you like. If the perp dies in the process, all the better.

2006-04-04T10:11:00.000Z

This is good:

"God, I have a problem."
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"I know that you created me and provided this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious comedic snake, but I'm just not happy."
"And why is that Eve?"
"God, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."
"Well, Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."
"Man? What is that, God?"
"A flawed creature, with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But he'll be bigger, faster and will like to hunt and kill things. I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be as smart as you, so he will also need your advice to think properly."
"Sounds great," says Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, God?"
"Well...You can have him on one condition."
"And what's that, God?"
"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant and self-admiring...So you'll have to let him believe that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret...you know...woman to woman."

HA HA!

2006-04-03T13:04:00.000Z

Fabulous piece I came across:

http://ilyka.mu.nu/archives/164836.html

2006-04-02T09:34:00.000Z

I have been Tagged. But I have no-one to Tag. Boo hoo :o( Oh well, let’s see how interesting/dull my life has been :oD

1. Who was your first prom date? Homeschooled, thus no prom. I don’t think English schools do Proms, do they?
My first date was when I was 14, when a boy who had a crush on me took me to the movies. He was a perfect wee gentleman, but I just didn’t fancy him. Poor lad.

2. Who were your first roommate(s)? Do you mean share a bedroom with? If so, my sisters. If you mean share a flat or house with, my first place ‘on my own’ was in a little self-contained studio at the top of a house wherein lived a family I’d known most of my life. It was very sad when I left, as the mother of this long-known family tried to get £300 out of me that I didn’t owe her. Awfully disappointing.

3. What alcoholic beverage did you drink the first time you got drunk? LOL, I remember getting tipsy at a relative’s wedding when I was about 5, having done the rounds of the adults’ table (after they’d gone on to the dancefloor) and finished off all the dregs of wine in their glasses! Early indications of my enduring love for rosé.

4. What was your first job? Au pair for a missionary family my parents knew. Looked after two GORGEOUS toddlers for about a year, during which time they got steady on their feet and started speaking. It was cool.

5. What was your first car? A very old blue Fiat Uno. Looked like a matchbox on wheels. Truly dreadful car. The first time I drove it was the day after I passed my test. My friend Naomi heroically agreed to be my passenger, as I was nervous of driving alone. In that first ride, I grazed a cyclist with my wing mirror (it was his fault, honest!), and we found that the car had a serious flaw. We were on a fairly steep hill, waiting to go into a parking area. There was a lot of traffic coming across, so I put the handbrake on and released the footbrake. And we started to roll backwards, towards a nice little white car that was stopped behind us. Which is when we realised that the handbrake didn’t work. That was scarey. Collision was avoided by judicious use of the biting point, but we were both rather shaken.

It’s not really any surprise that I have since lost contact with Naomi…. ;o)

6. When did you go to your first funeral? My great-grandmother’s, about 15 years ago. She was a very Victorian, stiff-upper-lip sort of woman. I never really got to know her. By the time I was old enough to be ‘seen and heard’, she was too far gone with the effect of several strokes to be interested in me.

7. How old were you when you first moved away from your hometown? Tricky question. I don’t consider that I had a hometown until my parents settled here when I was 15. Even then, I moved away again when I was 16, so it wasn’t really MY hometown until I moved back from the Ukraine just before my 20th birthday.

8. Who was your first grade teacher? My mum, lol! Who was also my 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th….well, you get the idea ;o)

9. Where did you go on your first ride on an airplane? I think it was when I was 7, @ 1986. We went from England to India for 8 or 9 months, and thence to Thailand for about a year.

10. When did you sneak out of your house for the first time, who was it with? I really don’t remember. I remember sneaking out of the house in the Ukraine to smoke (the Christians I worked with really frowned on that) with a couple of the other teenagers. But the first time….nope, memory insufficient beedibeedibeep

11. Who was your first Best Friend and are you still friends with them? Liefke, the daughter of missionaries my parents were working with when we were in Thailand. We kept in touch for about 5 years, but I’ve long since lost contact with her.

12. Where did you live the first time you moved out of your parents' house? Watford, for previously-mentioned au pair role.

13. Who is the first person you call when you have a bad day? Dream Man. Who is currently enjoying a Sunday am sleep-in. I couldn’t sleep past 8.30 today, for some reason. Odd. Maybe I was supposed to get up and answer this Tag :oD

14. Whose wedding were you in the first time you were a bridesmaid/groomsman? David and Beth’s. I was 15 or 16 I think. Got trussed up in this hideous dress that didn’t fit and flattened my boobs. Only time since they started growing that I ever looked flat-chested, lol! It was so uncomfortable!

15. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Kiss DM (who gets up 30mins later), roll out of bed and get in the shower. Mmmm, shower…..

16. What was the first concert you ever went to? Um, this is a tad embarrassing. I have never been to a proper concert. I went to the Homelands dance festival in 2000 (I think), but that’s not quite the same thing.

17. First tattoo or piercing? What age? Ears, age 11. Then again at age 13 because the holes closed up. I didn’t like earrings at age 11. I’m far too scaredycat to have somebody repeatedly poke me with a needle for a tattoo, and I’m not keen on having any body piercings.

18. First celebrity crush? Oh god do I have to say? The first I remember is Benjamin from 7 Brides for 7 Brothers (don’t know the actor’s name). In my defence, I was REALLY young!

19. Age of first kiss? 7. I was precocious.

20. First crush? 7 again. I had my first ‘boyfriend’ at that age. We would walk around holding hands and occasionally be more daring and kiss each other when no-one was looking. We were a bit like the Love Is stickers, lol!

21. First time you did drugs? My first proper drug experience (I don’t count the occasional toke on a joint) was my first ecstasy pill when I was 20. I was clubbing and only took half a pill, but it was an incredible experience. The music was in me, was my own blood. It was really amazing. After that, I had a great year and a half with my then boyfriend and our circle of friends, going to the same awesome club every Saturday night, taking an E and having a blast. After about 18 mos I got tired of it and stopped taking. No addiction, no issues. Just done. BTW, if anyone reading this would like to understand the UK drugs-and-clubbing experience of the late 90s, get the film Human Traffic with John Simms.

2006-03-31T17:06:00.000Z

Note for Nelle:

I saw you wonder elsewhere (I think on Kim's excellent blog) what a Liverpudlian accent is like. Rent The 51st State and you'll get your answer, plus a lorra lorra laffs! It's a little gross in places, but you will no longer have to wonder what it sounds like in Liverpeul :o)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0227984/

2006-03-31T16:44:00.000Z

Things I agree with Christianity about:

*Disclaimer* ‘Agree’ doesn’t mean that the following are views I necessarily share. It just means I like them and find them beautiful.

1. Love

There are so many beautiful passages in the Bible about love, like these

“Greater love hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life”

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all thy might. This is the first and great commandment – the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”

And pretty much all of 1Cor13, especially:
“And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three. But the greatest of these is love”

If all Christians everywhere would focus on the Love part of their religion, it would be universally considered a beautiful faith.

2. Universal reconciliation

This is the third salvation view I mentioned in the Disagree post. This view says that whether or not we accept Jesus in this life, whether or not we’re good or bad in this life, no matter what we do, we will all eventually be saved. This to me really sits well with the loving God concept. This is an image of a Father (still using Christian patriarchal symbology ;o)) who will not permit any of his children to be lost, no matter how long it takes for them to be found. This is a beautiful belief.

Wow, I thought there would be more Agrees. Maybe there are – if so, I’ll post a part deux on this too.

2006-03-31T16:31:00.000Z

Things I disagree with Christianity about:

*Disclaimer*: The below views are held by various and numerous denominations of Christianity and individual Christians, but not all. I am well aware that there are individuals and denominations who do not accept some or all of the views below, so please don’t bother to post comments on how your version of Christianity doesn’t preach XYZ. Thanks. Also, neither the Disagree or Agree lists are comprehensive.

1. Exclusivity

This is the belief that Christianity is the One True Faith, or ‘No man cometh unto the Father but by me’. This is clearly rubbish, and here’s why – it makes no sense. There are a variety of ways to do absolutely everything within human experience – eat, sleep, walk, talk, learn, have sex, give birth, smile, you name it. So why would this most important thing, the connection to the Divine only have one way to do it?

Anyone who has kids knows that each child is different, and what works with one may not work for the other. Eg some kids respond well to reasoning, some need the threat of punishment to behave. It’s so clear that everyone connects and responds in different ways, which is why we have so many different kinds of religion. All religions and faiths are paths to the Divine. They’re different because we are different. Insisting that any one of them is the only right one just reflects the insister’s own insecurity. They want to be part of a unique club, Daddy’s special kids. Well, it don’t work that way! If God(dess) is loving, s/he loves us all because s/he made us all. Parents, can you imagine leaving one of your children out in the cold because they understood the lesson differently? Bollocks. A god(dess) worth worshipping would not do this.

2. Hell

Closely linked to the above is the concept of Hell. A god(dess) worth worshipping would not sentence any of its children to eternal torment, regardless of the offence. And ESPECIALLY not if the offence is as arbitratry as understanding the god(dess) in a different way.

3. Salvation

There are two main views on salvation that I am aware of and disagree with within Protestantism – Calvinism and Arminianism. Calvinism says that God predestined his elect, chose who he would save before the world began. Arminianism says that it is our choice to accept Jesus, and whoever accepts him is saved.

Here is the problem with Calvinism: If God chose some people and not others to be saved before he created them, that means that he created a bunch of people whose inescapable destination is death and hell. Not loving.

Here is the problem with Arminianism: If God requires us to accept Jesus Christ in order to be saved, that damns all the people who never heard about Jesus before they died. So your average Hindu or Buddhist is just shit out of luck. Not loving.

There is a third view, which is dealt with in the Agree post.

4. Patriarchy/suppression of the female

Where are the women?? Where is the female aspect of God? We have the Son, but where is the Daughter? We have the Father, but where is the Mother?

Here are some nice Biblical quotes on this subject:

“Let the women keep silence in the church”

“I suffer no woman to teach, or to have authority over a man”

“Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning:” (Judges 19: 22-25)

“Let it be done unto me according to your will”

Yes, that last one is attributed to Mary, mother of Jesus, the only residual trace of the goddesses we once had. What is womanhood demoted to? A mortal, subservient to an immortal. A female whose flawed perfection is in her utter submission and the use of her body as a vessel from which comes the real perfection – a man.

The power of goddesses like Taweret, Mut and Freya is lost within a patriarchal religion. The importance of the motherline is also lost, and we focus only on the father-son relationship. Half the population is disenfranchised by this elimination of the Divine Feminine.

I have a ton more to say about this, but this is already a long post so I will just point you to a truly amazing book on this topic, by a fantastic writer:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/006064589X/qid=1143820717/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-0829141-7026867

5. Homosexuality

The rules against homosexuality are only still in place because of the rigidity of dogma. They were originally there, like the rules against ‘spilling your seed on the ground’ because there was this tiny tribe that needed to expand quickly or risk being completely subsumed or destroyed by the much larger neighbouring peoples. In order for the Israelites to survive, they had to breed. Which, I think is also a reason for the polygamous practices of the time – a man impregnating 4 wives can produce a lot more offspring than a man impregnating one.

Homosexuality is a natural variant of sexuality and exists in several animal species. There are even studies of male penguins pairing up and successfully raising a chick. In short, gay is natural, as is straight. Eventually humanity will realise that, the same way we realised that white wasn’t any better than black.

Either that or we will become Gilead.

6. One life

This is a much less fervent disagreement than those above, but I recently had a Twang moment about reincarnation as opposed to the single life on earth that most Christians believe we get. Did you like that expression? I invented it myself last night :o) A Twang moment is when you hear, read or think of something and it reverberates inside your soul, like the twang of a guitar string.

So anyway, I had a Twang moment about reincarnation the other day. I was musing (do that a fair bit!) and it suddenly came to me that reincarnation is an incredibly elegant and sensible solution to the fact of human frailty and error. We are going to cock things up, right? So why should we only get one shot at this? It makes so much more sense for us to be able to have a few goes in order to learn everything we need to and ‘get it right’ inasmuch as possible.

Maybe all our incarnations aren’t on this planet. As one of my favourite posters said on the Religion board ‘Maybe you flunk Earth life but ace Klingon life’. Tee hee. I love that idea :oD

So that’s all I’ve got for the Disagree post for the moment. There may be a Part Deux, but this will do for now. Agree post to follow.

2006-03-31T08:20:00.000Z

IT'S OFF, HURRAY!!!!

Marvellous, fabulous, joyous moment! I speak, of course, of the moment when the doc said 'no new cast, physiotherapy'. He was a tad abrupt , but I could have kissed him. Having the cast actually removed was weird as you like. That happened before we saw the doctor. The nurse was very nice and showed me that the saw couldn’t cut my skin by putting it against her own hand. I haven’t figured out how it can cut fibreglass but not skin, but never mind. The important thing is that it didn’t cut me! The vibrating feeling as she sawed through the fibreglass was a bit uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. I was going to see my leg again for the first time in 4 weeks!!

It looked hideous. Like something out of The Fly. All hairy (5 wks growth, ladies!) and flaky with dry skin *shudder*. The hairs were all curly where they hadn’t had room to grow straight. It was truly grim. DM was very entertained by the cast removal process and asked the nurse if he could have a go. What is it with men and gadgets?? Thankfully she said no, lol!

So then we saw the doctor, yadda yadda physiotherapy yadda. He did say one worrying thing, which was that the fact that my one knee had dislocated meant that I probably had an inbuilt tendency for that sort of thing and I should do all the physio exercises on both legs to help prevent the other one popping out at a later date. ARGH NO! Damn my genetic joint defects! I SOOOO do not want this to EVER happen again, so I’m doing all my exercises like 18 times a day. I’m doing one right now as I type this.

Very first thing I did when we got home yesterday was run a bath. My god, what bliss that was! Sigh…. Also shaved and moisturised the leg to within an inch of its life. That was fun.

DM and I have been on very short rations sexually while I’ve been encasted, so I was hoping to get jiggy after my bath, but worse luck he’s just come down with a ManCold™ and is far too ill to even consider it. Poo.

I can get about 45degrees of bend out of the knee at the mo, so that’s good. I bent it too far in my sleep last night and the pain woke me up, so I’ll have to be careful of that. I should have full use after about 6 weeks (possibly less), so I’ll finally be able to get back to bellydancing. God I’ve missed that.

Oooh, bellydancing. I haven’t posted about that yet. Hmmm. To Be Continued….

2006-03-29T17:10:00.000Z

What a strange week. I've been on a really short fuse, probably due to the increasing frustration and irritation with being in a cast. It's surprising how much it affects you. Poor DM's edges are beginning to fray.

Off to the hospital tomorrow to get this one taken off and have my knee poked and prodded. Depending on how well it's healing, they might put another cast on or tell me I can start on the physiotherapy. I've heard that operations are also sometimes needed for this sort of thing, so let's see how we go tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

I REALLY HOPE I GET RID OF THIS FUCKING THING!!!!

If they put another one on, I will cry. You have been warned.

2006-03-27T10:07:00.000Z

I came across a couple of quotes today that beautifully express my current life philosophy:

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
The Buddha

"This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy."
Susan Polis Shutz

And this one just for fun:

"I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Marcus, Babylon 5

2006-03-24T14:40:00.000Z

Mississippi bans sex toys
Further thoughts on RR stupidity

Mississippi has banned sex toys. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6308419 (you have to scroll down a bit)

I have no idea why, but they have. Apparently it’s also illegal to have sex with someone you’re not married to or to live with someone other than your spouse. Some states also have laws against oral and anal sex, which pretty much makes homosexuality of either flavour illegal. Can we say Dark Ages?

What possible business does the government have telling us what we can and can’t do in our bedrooms? So long as it doesn’t involve kids or coercion, it’s none of their business!!!

Utterly ridiculous, and another thing that makes the American claim to be the Land of the Free seem absurd.

(note: the RR at the top of the page refers to the Religious Right)

(note 2: the pink colour of the text is a salute to gay people of all varieties whose love is still, ludicrously, illegal)

2006-03-24T14:28:00.000Z

Land of the Free – yeah right!
Thoughts on abortion and stupidity

So, America is supposed to be the beacon of freedom, the den of democracy, the region of rights. Yeah, I’m not seeing it.

South Dakota has just made abortion illegal except if the woman’s life is in imminent danger.

“22-17-5.1.….Any person who administers to any pregnant female or who prescribes or procures for any pregnant female any medicine, drug, or substance or uses or employs any instrument or other means with intent thereby to procure an abortion, unless there is appropriate and reasonable medical judgment that performance of an abortion is necessary to preserve the life of the pregnant female, is guilty of a Class 6 felony.”
http://legis.state.sd.us/statutes/DisplayStatute.aspx?Type=Statute&Statute=22-17-5.1

So let’s think about that. This means no abortion in cases of rape or incest. (The governor of SD made this comment “in cases of simple rape, there should be no thought of abortion”. SIMPLE RAPE?? I wonder if he’d think differently after someone simply raped him! Cretin.) No abortion for rape or incest victims. No exceptions for very young women. No exceptions for the woman’s health or circumstances.

Here’s what this means in real terms:
Raped and impregnated at the age of 12?
Sorry, that’s tough.
Your father is also the father of your child?
Sorry, that’s tough.
Giving birth at a young age will damage you internally and make you unable to bear kids in the future?
Sorry, that’s tough.
Pregnancy and labour will permanently cripple you due to the fragile state of your health? Sorry, that’s tough.
You have an abusive partner who not only beats you but will start on the kid as soon as it emerges?
Sorry, that’s tough.

This law tells the women of SD that they must put the zygote/embryo/fetus over their own health and emotional wellbeing because they were just stupid enough to have sex or get raped. After all, we all know that rape victims were ‘asking for it’, right? CRETINS!!!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. For those who don’t know, Native American reservations are more or less treated as independent and allowed to rule themselves for the most part. State laws generally don’t apply within the reservation. So the fabulous Cecilia Fire Thunder, President of the Oglala Sioux on the Pine Ridge reservation is doing something about this attack on women’s rights. She is going to establish a Planned Parenthood clinic on reservation land, where the SD governor can’t do anything about it. HA HA! Come on girl!
(more details here: http://www.indianz.com/News/2006/013061.asp)

Here’s the difference between the pro-choice and pro-life movements. Obviously we vehemently disagree with each other BUT if pro-choice laws are in place, everyone can follow their own beliefs about what they should do with their own bodies. If pro-life laws are in place, like in SD, everyone has to follow pro-life beliefs. Which is bad. I can’t make a medical decision for a woman I don’t know. She can’t make decisions for me. Medical decision making should be between a woman and her doctor, and her god if she happens to have one. No other bugger gets a say!

I am SO grateful that I live in the UK. I hope that we are far too liberal to ever allow this shit to happen here, but if it looks like happening I will be right there in front of Parliament saying ‘Bugger Off!’

Most blogreaders probably already know about Molly Saves the Day and her thoughts on the above, but I’d like to link to her excellent blog anyway for anyone who hasn’t already read it:

http://www.mollysavestheday.blogspot.com/

Next up: Mississippi bans sex toys. No, really!

2006-03-23T12:15:00.000Z

More thoughts on family ideologies

Having got the previous post off my chest, I started to think about how families change as the children grow up and develop their own ideas about things.

I’ve just spoken to my dad about last night’s debate, which he didn’t take part in – he just observed. He said how much he’d enjoyed watching us debate and how proud he was to see his children debating their own views as adults. That was cool.

My own feelings about the ideological divide between myself and my family are much more mixed. I’m on my own path and I’m discovering my own beliefs. The ones I have found so far digress sharply from the beliefs I was brought up with. Incidentally, this journey of mine is unique among my siblings, as I am the only one of us 5 that has strayed from the Christian family fold.

One of the hardest things for me has been knowing that I can’t share this journey with my mum. We were very close when I was growing up, and still are in most ways, but this is something that I have to do without her. Not because I want to exclude her, but because we just are too far apart on this subject.

Even the fact that I am still in a process of discovery is difficult for my mother to understand. She encountered evangelical Christianity at 21, embraced it immediately and straight away embarked upon a missionary life. I have been ‘agnostic’ or in a state of learning about various faiths and discovering my own beliefs for about 7 years now. She doesn’t understand what’s taking me so long, lol. I think this is a journey that may well last many more years, if not my whole life, but then I don’t consider the destination to be the point of the exercise. I think the journey is the point.

So the question becomes, how do you maintain a relationship where there are such great differences of ideology? I realise that family ties are not based on similar beliefs but they really help! Especially when those beliefs speak strongly to a person’s identity, it’s hard to say you disagree without making the person feel devalued.

Maybe I’m asking for too much, but I so wish that I could share this hugely important journey I’m on with my family. Well, maybe the best idea is just not to talk about it. To create a dark corner in your relationship that you don’t go into, and make up for it in other areas. After all, no-one in your life will ever be interested in all the things you’re interested in. Can you smell the rationalisation? Hmmm, smells like coffee beans….

*deep dramatic back-of-hand-to-forehead sigh*

2006-03-23T09:26:00.000Z

Evolution vs Creation
(written at about 11pm last night)

This is not a good time for eblogger to have server problems.

I have just been for dinner with my parents & 3 of my siblings, plus a family friend and his two sons. We somehow got onto evolution vs creation. My family and their friends are all creationists. I'm not. I actually think evolution is a very sensible explanation for how we got where we are. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about it to defend it to half a dozen creationists. I think I at least managed to explain to my sister that creationism should not be taught alongside evolution as science because it isn't science and isn't subject to any scientific criteria.

I explained about the fruit flies and the common ancestor. I asked if any of them had read a scientific work on evolution, just to get the facts. I came away with the impression that not one of them had ever looked at evolution objectively or considered the possibility that it might be true. That was depressing. It's so weird when you realise how far your ways of thinking are from your family's. Mine are probably further than most. I honestly try to look at things
objectively and understand both sides of the argument, even if I lean towards one from the beginning. I am in a permanent state of 'prepared to be convinced'. I have my own views and beliefs, but if someone can prove me wrong I will cheerfully admit to being wrong. If anyone would like to prove Creation, step up!

Another thing I tried to explain was that God and evolution do not contradict each other. The strict, literal interpretation of Genesis 1&2 do contradict evolution, but if you take a broader view they don't have to. We are told in the Bible that time is different for God 'a thousand years is like a day'. So why shouldn't 1 billion years be as a week? Why does it have to be literally 6 days? Why couldn't God have started it rolling and then watched as we evolved?

Evolution doesn't address the question of where life came from. It only tells us how life got from a point of being very simple organisms to being a wide range of complex ones.

I'm frustrated with tonight's conversation because I was brought up with Creationist theory and have a really limited working knowledge of evolution, so I wasn't able to present the kind of argument that a more informed person would have been able to. That bugs the hell out of me!
Well, it probably wouldn't have mattered if I'd been Darwin himself. Not when it's suggested that scientists can't be trusted because they're all part of a big conspiracy to keep evolution the theory of choice. One person (friend not family) even mentioned the Illuminati, for gods sake.

My family have this blog address so they will probably read the above. Guys, if you are reading this, I love you but I disagree with you.

Here are a few points I didn’t get to make last night:

1. Yes, evolution is a theory. So is gravity. Both are the best explanations scientists have that explain all the evidence available.
2. The idea that scientists are all conspiring to make us believe in evolution is daft. Scientists argue about everything all the time. They constantly try to disprove evolution as well as other theories.
i) The scientist who proves that God exists or that creation actually happened would be more famous than Newton or Einstein.
ii) Science is not a system of meekly following the crowd or the established dogma. It thrives on disagreement and new findings.
3. If you want to have a look at the theory of evolution and see for yourself whether it is worth consideration, go here http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/faq-intro-to-biology.html

Having said all the above, these are just ideological differences. Yes, they’re important and they can be difficult to work around in the context of a relationship, but they’re not as important as the fact that I love you guys. That’s one that can be proved :o)

xxx

2006-03-22T12:51:00.000Z

My leg is in a full cast.

Yes, my right leg is in a thigh to ankle fibreglass cast because I dislocated my kneecap. How, you ask? Well….er….actually it was a bedroom injury. Don’t believe me? I can send you the doctor’s report! Seriously, what follows is the honest truth of my injury:

It’s Thursday 23 Feb, about 7.30 am. I’ve gotten up, had a shower but then succumbed to my nice warm DM (dream man) in our nice warm bed enticing me to get back in and have a cuddle. Damn tempter! So we’re having a bit of a cuddle, and then he is on top of me (missionary position) with That Look in his eyes. I still have my PJs on, but that situation is about to be remedied when he changes position slightly, rolling on to my leg.

“Ow ow ow ow get off that hurts”, I shriek unromantically. He scrambles off me and watches as I pull my leg up. That’s when it all gets really scary. I can see that my kneecap has slid out of its alloted position and is perched on the outside of my knee. That’s when I start to scream. It’s funny how the real pain doesn’t kick in until you look at the injury. So I’m panicking.

He is so unbelievably calm. He makes me put my hands down (which had been clutched protectively around the misshapen knee), gently lifts my leg up and manipulates the leg until the kneecap slides back into place. I have never in all my life felt pain like it.

He gets me a bag of frozen peas to put on it, and I lie on the bed in the fetal position sobbing for about 20 mins until the pain dies down. We then go to Casualty (A&E) – and sit around for an hour and a half before anyone sees us! Anyway, I eventually get seen by a doctor, then sent to X-ray, then sent to the plaster room. (when the doc said ‘you’ll have to have a cast’, we both laughed because we thought he was kidding). Total of 5 ½ hrs spent in Casualty.

Eventually, all casted up, we depart. DM takes the next 4 days off work to take care of me, and I go back to work after a week and a day.

The day before I’m due to return to work, I have the original backslab plaster cast taken off. But then the doc says ‘You’ll have to wear a fibreglass cast for the next 4 weeks’. I waited to cry until we got back into the car.

But it’s ok. I am willing to suffer for my art. ‘Cast off’ day is 30 March. I just hope they don’t decide to put another one on.

PS: I really wish we’d been doing something more adventurous than the missionary position. I would love to be able to say ‘Watch out for page 56 of the Kama Sutra – it’s a bugger’.

2006-03-21T20:23:00.000Z

Ok, so this is apparently my blog. Cool.

I'm Elle Voyage. Well, I'm not, of course, but it seemed like a good name for a blog. It's French for 'She journeys'. Which is what this blog is going to be about. More on that later.

Is it normal to feel this nervous about a blog? I had so much to say earlier when I came up with the fab idea of sharing my warped little mind with the world. And now...nothing. Nada. Zip.

Well, I'm here to talk about me so I'll do that. I am 26 until September 1st, living in sin with the man of my dreams, oldest of 5 kids, raised evangelical Christian but currently agnostic for lack of a better word. I play a lot on the iVillage.com debate boards. The idiotic South Dakota abortion law is a big topic at the moment. More on that later too. I'm so glad I live in England.

I didn't always. Live in England, that is. I was born here but first left the country at the age of 8mos old when my parents drove a caravan to Greece. I've lived in nearly a dozen countries. Once I counted up all our moves and found that we'd moved 17 times in about 10 years. Why, you ask? Well, my folks were evangelical Christians and they walked the walk. We were missionary kids.

Best place I ever lived as a child was Thailand. Gorgeous scenery, wonderful people. And I was 8, so the tourism hadn't really kicked in yet. My youngest sister was born there. I think she was the only blonde, blue-eyed child within 200 miles, and she got pinched half to death. The Thais have a peculiar custom when they want to know a baby's gender. They don't ask - they put their hand down the nappy and check. My mum was a little startled when this first happened to her daughter, but I guess she got used to it.

One of the best things about Thailand in my child mind was the two mango trees we had in the back garden. Bloody fantastic! The mangoes that you buy in Sainsburys don't taste quite right. They're sort of 'perfumy'. Mangoes that fall out of the tree into your hand - now there's a taste to die for!

Another weird memory of Thailand - durian fruit. This is a bizarre fruit that can best be described as onion-flavoured custard. Yes, I know. But really, that's the best description! It's a major delicacy over there, but the smell....well, let's just say it drove my poor pregnant mother into the garden! I could never get past the smell.

Will that do for a first blog? I'll get better at this, I promise...