Oh help! I think I'm going mad!
I've mentioned once or twice that I'm completely broody, right? It's getting worse. I am going into meltdown!
My sister, my YOUNGER sister (she's 24yo, i'm 27), is 4mos pregnant. My friend Karen just had a baby. My friend Lisa's baby is 10 mos old and today he CRIED when I left. He actually cried for me, and this kid has seen me once a week at most. I got into my car on the verge of tears.
My situation is that we are going to have kids, but not yet. He wants a more stable & better-paying job, which is fair enough because his current job situation is awful. He's looking hard, but hasn't found anything yet. And in the meantime, I wait. And it's driving me nuts. I was broody for a couple of years before I even met the guy, and now I have the man I'm pretty sure I want to spend my life with and it's getting worse month on month.
Does anyone have any advice? Maybe a herbal remedy to make my hormones SHUT THE FUCK UP? But it's not just my hormones. It's my heart. I yearn for a baby. I once had to give Lisa her baby back because he was laughing up at me and I thought I was going to cry.
Oh God, I need help!!!
posted by Elle @ 8:38 pm
6 comments
6 Comments:
Hormones aren't going to cure this, elle...
since I only know what you write on, I'd suggest you contemplate this:
if you have in fact talked on the lifelong commitment, then you should also begin talking on how you feel about children. If you wait for a better job, that tends to morph into when I get promoted, etc. There are no employment guarantees.
I've found that the worst thing to have askew is hope. Hope, whilst something Pema tends to discourage, is still something that holds me together. If you talk this out and say... set parameters of moving forward, like if nothing changes in a year, then we proceed, etc... might be enough to placate your soul. Talking alone might be quite beneficial, here, and with your partner.
*hugs*
Yes, we are in it for the long haul and we want kiddies. His job situation is really bad at the moment, so I can understand his POV, but to be honest you can never afford kids, lol! Maybe a deadline would be a good idea to focus our minds. Also, if I know I've only got eg a yaer to wait before we start trying, I might be able to deal better ;o)
TXS nelle
What is Pema, btw?
oh babe! sending big hugs your way! I was desperate to have a baby before we had ours, (then took over a year to conceive her!) so can sympathise to a certain extent! nelle's right though, its something that can keep being put off, cos the time is never right! there's no herbal remedy gonna sort this out chick.....just keep talking, and enjoy practising.....!?
hugs
e
xxx
Thanks Eleni, I'm glad it's not just me! Actually I was talking to a slightly older friend of a friend (30yo) and she expressed the exact same feelings I've had - that there is a baby conspiracy against us!! Everywhere we go we see them, little buggers ;o)
Baby radar ;-)
We put it off for several years, and sometimes it seems we looked for every um... conceivable *cough* reason not to... it never feels like the right time. Ultimately you have to decide on parameters.
If a job sucks, perhaps then this is motivation to find an unsucky job. Before and during pregnancy the worries don't go away, but perhaps the worries evolve into new ones...
I do think a nice chat... say, restaurant, nice dinner, a bottle of wine, and relaxed chat... would do your soul wonders.
Thanks Nelle - the above discussion was held at the pub over a pint and glass of wine respectively ;o)
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