Note for Nelle:

I saw you wonder elsewhere (I think on Kim's excellent blog) what a Liverpudlian accent is like. Rent The 51st State and you'll get your answer, plus a lorra lorra laffs! It's a little gross in places, but you will no longer have to wonder what it sounds like in Liverpeul :o)

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0227984/

Things I agree with Christianity about:

*Disclaimer* ‘Agree’ doesn’t mean that the following are views I necessarily share. It just means I like them and find them beautiful.

1. Love

There are so many beautiful passages in the Bible about love, like these

“Greater love hath no man that this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”

“For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life”

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, with all thy soul and with all thy might. This is the first and great commandment – the second is like unto it. Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself”

And pretty much all of 1Cor13, especially:
“And now abideth faith, hope, love, these three. But the greatest of these is love”

If all Christians everywhere would focus on the Love part of their religion, it would be universally considered a beautiful faith.

2. Universal reconciliation

This is the third salvation view I mentioned in the Disagree post. This view says that whether or not we accept Jesus in this life, whether or not we’re good or bad in this life, no matter what we do, we will all eventually be saved. This to me really sits well with the loving God concept. This is an image of a Father (still using Christian patriarchal symbology ;o)) who will not permit any of his children to be lost, no matter how long it takes for them to be found. This is a beautiful belief.


Wow, I thought there would be more Agrees. Maybe there are – if so, I’ll post a part deux on this too.

Things I disagree with Christianity about:

*Disclaimer*: The below views are held by various and numerous denominations of Christianity and individual Christians, but not all. I am well aware that there are individuals and denominations who do not accept some or all of the views below, so please don’t bother to post comments on how your version of Christianity doesn’t preach XYZ. Thanks. Also, neither the Disagree or Agree lists are comprehensive.


1. Exclusivity

This is the belief that Christianity is the One True Faith, or ‘No man cometh unto the Father but by me’. This is clearly rubbish, and here’s why – it makes no sense. There are a variety of ways to do absolutely everything within human experience – eat, sleep, walk, talk, learn, have sex, give birth, smile, you name it. So why would this most important thing, the connection to the Divine only have one way to do it?

Anyone who has kids knows that each child is different, and what works with one may not work for the other. Eg some kids respond well to reasoning, some need the threat of punishment to behave. It’s so clear that everyone connects and responds in different ways, which is why we have so many different kinds of religion. All religions and faiths are paths to the Divine. They’re different because we are different. Insisting that any one of them is the only right one just reflects the insister’s own insecurity. They want to be part of a unique club, Daddy’s special kids. Well, it don’t work that way! If God(dess) is loving, s/he loves us all because s/he made us all. Parents, can you imagine leaving one of your children out in the cold because they understood the lesson differently? Bollocks. A god(dess) worth worshipping would not do this.

2. Hell

Closely linked to the above is the concept of Hell. A god(dess) worth worshipping would not sentence any of its children to eternal torment, regardless of the offence. And ESPECIALLY not if the offence is as arbitratry as understanding the god(dess) in a different way.

3. Salvation

There are two main views on salvation that I am aware of and disagree with within Protestantism – Calvinism and Arminianism. Calvinism says that God predestined his elect, chose who he would save before the world began. Arminianism says that it is our choice to accept Jesus, and whoever accepts him is saved.

Here is the problem with Calvinism: If God chose some people and not others to be saved before he created them, that means that he created a bunch of people whose inescapable destination is death and hell. Not loving.

Here is the problem with Arminianism: If God requires us to accept Jesus Christ in order to be saved, that damns all the people who never heard about Jesus before they died. So your average Hindu or Buddhist is just shit out of luck. Not loving.

There is a third view, which is dealt with in the Agree post.

4. Patriarchy/suppression of the female

Where are the women?? Where is the female aspect of God? We have the Son, but where is the Daughter? We have the Father, but where is the Mother?

Here are some nice Biblical quotes on this subject:

“Let the women keep silence in the church”

“I suffer no woman to teach, or to have authority over a man”

“Now as they were making their hearts merry, behold, the men of the city, certain sons of Belial, beset the house round about, and beat at the door, and spake to the master of the house, the old man, saying, Bring forth the man that came into thine house, that we may know him.And the man, the master of the house, went out unto them, Nay, my brethren, nay, I pray you, do not so wickedly; seeing that this man is come into mine house, do not this folly.Behold, here is my daughter a maiden, and his concubine; them I will bring out now, and humble ye them, and do with them what seemeth good unto you: but unto this man do not so vile a thing.But the men would not hearken to him: so the man took his concubine, and brought her forth unto them; and they knew her, and abused her all the night until the morning:” (Judges 19: 22-25)

“Let it be done unto me according to your will”

Yes, that last one is attributed to Mary, mother of Jesus, the only residual trace of the goddesses we once had. What is womanhood demoted to? A mortal, subservient to an immortal. A female whose flawed perfection is in her utter submission and the use of her body as a vessel from which comes the real perfection – a man.

The power of goddesses like Taweret, Mut and Freya is lost within a patriarchal religion. The importance of the motherline is also lost, and we focus only on the father-son relationship. Half the population is disenfranchised by this elimination of the Divine Feminine.

I have a ton more to say about this, but this is already a long post so I will just point you to a truly amazing book on this topic, by a fantastic writer:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/exec/obidos/ASIN/006064589X/qid=1143820717/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl/026-0829141-7026867

5. Homosexuality

The rules against homosexuality are only still in place because of the rigidity of dogma. They were originally there, like the rules against ‘spilling your seed on the ground’ because there was this tiny tribe that needed to expand quickly or risk being completely subsumed or destroyed by the much larger neighbouring peoples. In order for the Israelites to survive, they had to breed. Which, I think is also a reason for the polygamous practices of the time – a man impregnating 4 wives can produce a lot more offspring than a man impregnating one.

Homosexuality is a natural variant of sexuality and exists in several animal species. There are even studies of male penguins pairing up and successfully raising a chick. In short, gay is natural, as is straight. Eventually humanity will realise that, the same way we realised that white wasn’t any better than black.

Either that or we will become Gilead.

6. One life

This is a much less fervent disagreement than those above, but I recently had a Twang moment about reincarnation as opposed to the single life on earth that most Christians believe we get. Did you like that expression? I invented it myself last night :o) A Twang moment is when you hear, read or think of something and it reverberates inside your soul, like the twang of a guitar string.

So anyway, I had a Twang moment about reincarnation the other day. I was musing (do that a fair bit!) and it suddenly came to me that reincarnation is an incredibly elegant and sensible solution to the fact of human frailty and error. We are going to cock things up, right? So why should we only get one shot at this? It makes so much more sense for us to be able to have a few goes in order to learn everything we need to and ‘get it right’ inasmuch as possible.

Maybe all our incarnations aren’t on this planet. As one of my favourite posters said on the Religion board ‘Maybe you flunk Earth life but ace Klingon life’. Tee hee. I love that idea :oD

So that’s all I’ve got for the Disagree post for the moment. There may be a Part Deux, but this will do for now. Agree post to follow.

IT'S OFF, HURRAY!!!!

Marvellous, fabulous, joyous moment! I speak, of course, of the moment when the doc said 'no new cast, physiotherapy'. He was a tad abrupt , but I could have kissed him. Having the cast actually removed was weird as you like. That happened before we saw the doctor. The nurse was very nice and showed me that the saw couldn’t cut my skin by putting it against her own hand. I haven’t figured out how it can cut fibreglass but not skin, but never mind. The important thing is that it didn’t cut me! The vibrating feeling as she sawed through the fibreglass was a bit uncomfortable, but I didn’t care. I was going to see my leg again for the first time in 4 weeks!!

It looked hideous. Like something out of The Fly. All hairy (5 wks growth, ladies!) and flaky with dry skin *shudder*. The hairs were all curly where they hadn’t had room to grow straight. It was truly grim. DM was very entertained by the cast removal process and asked the nurse if he could have a go. What is it with men and gadgets?? Thankfully she said no, lol!

So then we saw the doctor, yadda yadda physiotherapy yadda. He did say one worrying thing, which was that the fact that my one knee had dislocated meant that I probably had an inbuilt tendency for that sort of thing and I should do all the physio exercises on both legs to help prevent the other one popping out at a later date. ARGH NO! Damn my genetic joint defects! I SOOOO do not want this to EVER happen again, so I’m doing all my exercises like 18 times a day. I’m doing one right now as I type this.

Very first thing I did when we got home yesterday was run a bath. My god, what bliss that was! Sigh…. Also shaved and moisturised the leg to within an inch of its life. That was fun.

DM and I have been on very short rations sexually while I’ve been encasted, so I was hoping to get jiggy after my bath, but worse luck he’s just come down with a ManCold™ and is far too ill to even consider it. Poo.

I can get about 45degrees of bend out of the knee at the mo, so that’s good. I bent it too far in my sleep last night and the pain woke me up, so I’ll have to be careful of that. I should have full use after about 6 weeks (possibly less), so I’ll finally be able to get back to bellydancing. God I’ve missed that.

Oooh, bellydancing. I haven’t posted about that yet. Hmmm. To Be Continued….

What a strange week. I've been on a really short fuse, probably due to the increasing frustration and irritation with being in a cast. It's surprising how much it affects you. Poor DM's edges are beginning to fray.

Off to the hospital tomorrow to get this one taken off and have my knee poked and prodded. Depending on how well it's healing, they might put another cast on or tell me I can start on the physiotherapy. I've heard that operations are also sometimes needed for this sort of thing, so let's see how we go tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

I REALLY HOPE I GET RID OF THIS FUCKING THING!!!!

If they put another one on, I will cry. You have been warned.

I came across a couple of quotes today that beautifully express my current life philosophy:

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."
The Buddha

"This life is yours. Take the power to choose what you want to do and do it well. Take the power to love what you want in life and love it honestly. Take the power to walk in the forest and be a part of nature. Take the power to control your own life. No one else can do it for you. Take the power to make your life happy."
Susan Polis Shutz

And this one just for fun:

"I used to think it was awful that life was so unfair. Then I thought, wouldn't it be much worse if life were fair and all the terrible things that happen to us come because we actually deserve them? So, now I take great comfort in the general hostility and unfairness of the universe."
Marcus, Babylon 5

Mississippi bans sex toys
Further thoughts on RR stupidity

Mississippi has banned sex toys. http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6308419 (you have to scroll down a bit)

I have no idea why, but they have. Apparently it’s also illegal to have sex with someone you’re not married to or to live with someone other than your spouse. Some states also have laws against oral and anal sex, which pretty much makes homosexuality of either flavour illegal. Can we say Dark Ages?

What possible business does the government have telling us what we can and can’t do in our bedrooms? So long as it doesn’t involve kids or coercion, it’s none of their business!!!

Utterly ridiculous, and another thing that makes the American claim to be the Land of the Free seem absurd.

(note: the RR at the top of the page refers to the Religious Right)

(note 2: the pink colour of the text is a salute to gay people of all varieties whose love is still, ludicrously, illegal)

Land of the Free – yeah right!
Thoughts on abortion and stupidity

So, America is supposed to be the beacon of freedom, the den of democracy, the region of rights. Yeah, I’m not seeing it.

South Dakota has just made abortion illegal except if the woman’s life is in imminent danger.

“22-17-5.1.….Any person who administers to any pregnant female or who prescribes or procures for any pregnant female any medicine, drug, or substance or uses or employs any instrument or other means with intent thereby to procure an abortion, unless there is appropriate and reasonable medical judgment that performance of an abortion is necessary to preserve the life of the pregnant female, is guilty of a Class 6 felony.”
http://legis.state.sd.us/statutes/DisplayStatute.aspx?Type=Statute&Statute=22-17-5.1

So let’s think about that. This means no abortion in cases of rape or incest. (The governor of SD made this comment “in cases of simple rape, there should be no thought of abortion”. SIMPLE RAPE?? I wonder if he’d think differently after someone simply raped him! Cretin.) No abortion for rape or incest victims. No exceptions for very young women. No exceptions for the woman’s health or circumstances.

Here’s what this means in real terms:
Raped and impregnated at the age of 12?
Sorry, that’s tough.
Your father is also the father of your child?
Sorry, that’s tough.
Giving birth at a young age will damage you internally and make you unable to bear kids in the future?
Sorry, that’s tough.
Pregnancy and labour will permanently cripple you due to the fragile state of your health? Sorry, that’s tough.
You have an abusive partner who not only beats you but will start on the kid as soon as it emerges?
Sorry, that’s tough.

This law tells the women of SD that they must put the zygote/embryo/fetus over their own health and emotional wellbeing because they were just stupid enough to have sex or get raped. After all, we all know that rape victims were ‘asking for it’, right? CRETINS!!!

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. For those who don’t know, Native American reservations are more or less treated as independent and allowed to rule themselves for the most part. State laws generally don’t apply within the reservation. So the fabulous Cecilia Fire Thunder, President of the Oglala Sioux on the Pine Ridge reservation is doing something about this attack on women’s rights. She is going to establish a Planned Parenthood clinic on reservation land, where the SD governor can’t do anything about it. HA HA! Come on girl!
(more details here: http://www.indianz.com/News/2006/013061.asp)

Here’s the difference between the pro-choice and pro-life movements. Obviously we vehemently disagree with each other BUT if pro-choice laws are in place, everyone can follow their own beliefs about what they should do with their own bodies. If pro-life laws are in place, like in SD, everyone has to follow pro-life beliefs. Which is bad. I can’t make a medical decision for a woman I don’t know. She can’t make decisions for me. Medical decision making should be between a woman and her doctor, and her god if she happens to have one. No other bugger gets a say!

I am SO grateful that I live in the UK. I hope that we are far too liberal to ever allow this shit to happen here, but if it looks like happening I will be right there in front of Parliament saying ‘Bugger Off!’

Most blogreaders probably already know about Molly Saves the Day and her thoughts on the above, but I’d like to link to her excellent blog anyway for anyone who hasn’t already read it:

http://www.mollysavestheday.blogspot.com/

Next up: Mississippi bans sex toys. No, really!

More thoughts on family ideologies

Having got the previous post off my chest, I started to think about how families change as the children grow up and develop their own ideas about things.

I’ve just spoken to my dad about last night’s debate, which he didn’t take part in – he just observed. He said how much he’d enjoyed watching us debate and how proud he was to see his children debating their own views as adults. That was cool.

My own feelings about the ideological divide between myself and my family are much more mixed. I’m on my own path and I’m discovering my own beliefs. The ones I have found so far digress sharply from the beliefs I was brought up with. Incidentally, this journey of mine is unique among my siblings, as I am the only one of us 5 that has strayed from the Christian family fold.

One of the hardest things for me has been knowing that I can’t share this journey with my mum. We were very close when I was growing up, and still are in most ways, but this is something that I have to do without her. Not because I want to exclude her, but because we just are too far apart on this subject.

Even the fact that I am still in a process of discovery is difficult for my mother to understand. She encountered evangelical Christianity at 21, embraced it immediately and straight away embarked upon a missionary life. I have been ‘agnostic’ or in a state of learning about various faiths and discovering my own beliefs for about 7 years now. She doesn’t understand what’s taking me so long, lol. I think this is a journey that may well last many more years, if not my whole life, but then I don’t consider the destination to be the point of the exercise. I think the journey is the point.

So the question becomes, how do you maintain a relationship where there are such great differences of ideology? I realise that family ties are not based on similar beliefs but they really help! Especially when those beliefs speak strongly to a person’s identity, it’s hard to say you disagree without making the person feel devalued.

Maybe I’m asking for too much, but I so wish that I could share this hugely important journey I’m on with my family. Well, maybe the best idea is just not to talk about it. To create a dark corner in your relationship that you don’t go into, and make up for it in other areas. After all, no-one in your life will ever be interested in all the things you’re interested in. Can you smell the rationalisation? Hmmm, smells like coffee beans….

*deep dramatic back-of-hand-to-forehead sigh*

Evolution vs Creation
(written at about 11pm last night)

This is not a good time for eblogger to have server problems.

I have just been for dinner with my parents & 3 of my siblings, plus a family friend and his two sons. We somehow got onto evolution vs creation. My family and their friends are all creationists. I'm not. I actually think evolution is a very sensible explanation for how we got where we are. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about it to defend it to half a dozen creationists. I think I at least managed to explain to my sister that creationism should not be taught alongside evolution as science because it isn't science and isn't subject to any scientific criteria.

I explained about the fruit flies and the common ancestor. I asked if any of them had read a scientific work on evolution, just to get the facts. I came away with the impression that not one of them had ever looked at evolution objectively or considered the possibility that it might be true. That was depressing. It's so weird when you realise how far your ways of thinking are from your family's. Mine are probably further than most. I honestly try to look at things
objectively and understand both sides of the argument, even if I lean towards one from the beginning. I am in a permanent state of 'prepared to be convinced'. I have my own views and beliefs, but if someone can prove me wrong I will cheerfully admit to being wrong. If anyone would like to prove Creation, step up!

Another thing I tried to explain was that God and evolution do not contradict each other. The strict, literal interpretation of Genesis 1&2 do contradict evolution, but if you take a broader view they don't have to. We are told in the Bible that time is different for God 'a thousand years is like a day'. So why shouldn't 1 billion years be as a week? Why does it have to be literally 6 days? Why couldn't God have started it rolling and then watched as we evolved?

Evolution doesn't address the question of where life came from. It only tells us how life got from a point of being very simple organisms to being a wide range of complex ones.

I'm frustrated with tonight's conversation because I was brought up with Creationist theory and have a really limited working knowledge of evolution, so I wasn't able to present the kind of argument that a more informed person would have been able to. That bugs the hell out of me!
Well, it probably wouldn't have mattered if I'd been Darwin himself. Not when it's suggested that scientists can't be trusted because they're all part of a big conspiracy to keep evolution the theory of choice. One person (friend not family) even mentioned the Illuminati, for gods sake.

My family have this blog address so they will probably read the above. Guys, if you are reading this, I love you but I disagree with you.

Here are a few points I didn’t get to make last night:

1. Yes, evolution is a theory. So is gravity. Both are the best explanations scientists have that explain all the evidence available.
2. The idea that scientists are all conspiring to make us believe in evolution is daft. Scientists argue about everything all the time. They constantly try to disprove evolution as well as other theories.
i) The scientist who proves that God exists or that creation actually happened would be more famous than Newton or Einstein.
ii) Science is not a system of meekly following the crowd or the established dogma. It thrives on disagreement and new findings.
3. If you want to have a look at the theory of evolution and see for yourself whether it is worth consideration, go here http://www.talkorigins.org/faqs/faq-intro-to-biology.html

Having said all the above, these are just ideological differences. Yes, they’re important and they can be difficult to work around in the context of a relationship, but they’re not as important as the fact that I love you guys. That’s one that can be proved :o)

xxx

My leg is in a full cast.

Yes, my right leg is in a thigh to ankle fibreglass cast because I dislocated my kneecap. How, you ask? Well….er….actually it was a bedroom injury. Don’t believe me? I can send you the doctor’s report! Seriously, what follows is the honest truth of my injury:

It’s Thursday 23 Feb, about 7.30 am. I’ve gotten up, had a shower but then succumbed to my nice warm DM (dream man) in our nice warm bed enticing me to get back in and have a cuddle. Damn tempter! So we’re having a bit of a cuddle, and then he is on top of me (missionary position) with That Look in his eyes. I still have my PJs on, but that situation is about to be remedied when he changes position slightly, rolling on to my leg.

“Ow ow ow ow get off that hurts”, I shriek unromantically. He scrambles off me and watches as I pull my leg up. That’s when it all gets really scary. I can see that my kneecap has slid out of its alloted position and is perched on the outside of my knee. That’s when I start to scream. It’s funny how the real pain doesn’t kick in until you look at the injury. So I’m panicking.

He is so unbelievably calm. He makes me put my hands down (which had been clutched protectively around the misshapen knee), gently lifts my leg up and manipulates the leg until the kneecap slides back into place. I have never in all my life felt pain like it.

He gets me a bag of frozen peas to put on it, and I lie on the bed in the fetal position sobbing for about 20 mins until the pain dies down. We then go to Casualty (A&E) – and sit around for an hour and a half before anyone sees us! Anyway, I eventually get seen by a doctor, then sent to X-ray, then sent to the plaster room. (when the doc said ‘you’ll have to have a cast’, we both laughed because we thought he was kidding). Total of 5 ½ hrs spent in Casualty.

Eventually, all casted up, we depart. DM takes the next 4 days off work to take care of me, and I go back to work after a week and a day.

The day before I’m due to return to work, I have the original backslab plaster cast taken off. But then the doc says ‘You’ll have to wear a fibreglass cast for the next 4 weeks’. I waited to cry until we got back into the car.

But it’s ok. I am willing to suffer for my art. ‘Cast off’ day is 30 March. I just hope they don’t decide to put another one on.

PS: I really wish we’d been doing something more adventurous than the missionary position. I would love to be able to say ‘Watch out for page 56 of the Kama Sutra – it’s a bugger’.

Ok, so this is apparently my blog. Cool.

I'm Elle Voyage. Well, I'm not, of course, but it seemed like a good name for a blog. It's French for 'She journeys'. Which is what this blog is going to be about. More on that later.

Is it normal to feel this nervous about a blog? I had so much to say earlier when I came up with the fab idea of sharing my warped little mind with the world. And now...nothing. Nada. Zip.

Well, I'm here to talk about me so I'll do that. I am 26 until September 1st, living in sin with the man of my dreams, oldest of 5 kids, raised evangelical Christian but currently agnostic for lack of a better word. I play a lot on the iVillage.com debate boards. The idiotic South Dakota abortion law is a big topic at the moment. More on that later too. I'm so glad I live in England.

I didn't always. Live in England, that is. I was born here but first left the country at the age of 8mos old when my parents drove a caravan to Greece. I've lived in nearly a dozen countries. Once I counted up all our moves and found that we'd moved 17 times in about 10 years. Why, you ask? Well, my folks were evangelical Christians and they walked the walk. We were missionary kids.

Best place I ever lived as a child was Thailand. Gorgeous scenery, wonderful people. And I was 8, so the tourism hadn't really kicked in yet. My youngest sister was born there. I think she was the only blonde, blue-eyed child within 200 miles, and she got pinched half to death. The Thais have a peculiar custom when they want to know a baby's gender. They don't ask - they put their hand down the nappy and check. My mum was a little startled when this first happened to her daughter, but I guess she got used to it.

One of the best things about Thailand in my child mind was the two mango trees we had in the back garden. Bloody fantastic! The mangoes that you buy in Sainsburys don't taste quite right. They're sort of 'perfumy'. Mangoes that fall out of the tree into your hand - now there's a taste to die for!

Another weird memory of Thailand - durian fruit. This is a bizarre fruit that can best be described as onion-flavoured custard. Yes, I know. But really, that's the best description! It's a major delicacy over there, but the smell....well, let's just say it drove my poor pregnant mother into the garden! I could never get past the smell.

Will that do for a first blog? I'll get better at this, I promise...